By Tan Ee Jean – February 27, 2023
KAJANG: Nowadays, dating is not only limited to the people you meet in person. Therefore, people use social media platforms or dating apps such as Tinder, Kippo, Instagram and Facebook to connect with others online for convenience. At the same time, the widespread use of dating apps and social media platforms gives opportunities for scammers to commit love scams. According to Federal Trade Commission (FTC), there were $1.3 billion was lost by people in love scams from 2017 to 2021.
We spoke to Mr. Ngoh Chee Meng, the President of the Society for Scientific Study of Sexuality Kuala Lumpur and Selangor and students to gain insight into the reason why the love scam happen, the most common method of the love scam and the psychological effects of love scams victims.
Mr. Ngoh Chee Meng, 46, President of the Society for Scientific Study of Sexuality Kuala Lumpur and Selangor
A listener, a motivator
Mr. Ngoh said that love scammers used the loneliness of victims and victims' need for companionship to conduct love scams. A lot of people feel lonely and need companionship, especially single people.
“There should be a process, where at first, they be the good listener and motivator, slowly but surely, they gain the trust, make the victims feel they were important, they were special, then only showing signal of financial difficulties. I strongly believed the whole process isn’t as simple as two sentences.”
Mr. Ngoh also states that victims who have fallen into the love’s trap will be disappointed and assume they will never meet the right one. Besides, due to the shadow of love scams, victims will distrust the new person who may create emotional relationships with them.
Britney Soo, 21, student
The idealized love
Britney Soo, 21, a student said that love scammers disguise themselves as powerful and rich people such as businessmen, soldiers, lawyers, investors, etc. to make victims feel that they are worthy of a entrust lifelong.
She states that a lot of the victims may be single or divorced people who are eager to find love and companionship. Besides, some victims may have an idealized view of love and are prone to believe the romantic stories which are woven by love scammers.
“I feel that gift scam is the most common method of the love scam. Love scammers will ask for victims’ bank account information or property under the guise of a gift. They may also send fake checks or phishing links. ”
She also states that victims who have love scams experience may influence their mental health. If victims are unable to face their emotional problems, they may fall into depression, anxiety and other psychological disorders, which may even affect their physical and mental health in severe cases.
Low Sher Ving, 23, student
The immaturity of victims: An opportunity for love scammers
Low Sher Ving, 23, a student states that love scammers disguise themselves as delicate people to conduct love scams. Love scammers used the immaturity of victims to make victims develop a love for love scammers.
“I think that the most common method of love scams is the love scammer who said that they encounter some problems and borrow money from the victim. The victim might feel that the person she loved faced difficulties and deserve to lend him money. Finally, the love scammer disappears after he successfully borrows the money from the victim.”
Besides, she states that victims will no longer dare to believe in love after falling into the trap of love scams, victims may feel that all men are unreliable and cheating. Even victims will hate them and think that all men are evil.
Kong Seen Qian, 19, student
The number of borrowing money from love scammers is getting huge
Kong Seen Qian, 19, a student states that love scammers will lie to victims that they are successful businesspeople. Love scammers will ask victims about what victims are doing at different times of the day. Therefore, victims who lack company will believe that love scammers are caring for them.
“Love scammers will ask victims to borrow money for financial difficulties. They will always borrow money from victims and the number of borrowing money is getting huge.”
In addition, she states that there are two situations for victims who had fallen into the trap of love scams. The first situation is victims will not be able to trust a person and enter a new relationship. The second situation is victims are still trapped in love scams.
How to “know” your romance scammer
Mr. Ngoh shared that people should not find a partner based on physical appearance. Besides, people should not give strangers their personal information and let strangers know their whereabouts.
“People should verify the information of netizens who chat with them after getting netizens' Facebook, Instagram, etc.”
He also advised that people should not confirm a relationship immediately on the internet because a relationship will really start when you have met the person and is satisfy with the way they talk and interact with you.
In addition, he states that people should pay attention to themselves to avoid falling into the trap of love scams, rather than relying on their parents or the government to monitor them. However, schools or governments can educate people on how to use social media platforms or dating apps correctly.
“Parents should educate and guide their children instead of try to limit their action to use social media platforms or dating apps.”
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